The Regurgitater

Well, no matter how I spell the word above, my spell check underlines it. So, I guess it’s not really a real word, but it is a real person. He is Scottish and strange and has quite a sense of humor. Most of all however, he has a crazy and incomprehensible talent. Today I watched him swallow and bring back up many objects of different sizes, shapes, and states of matter.
First, he swallowed change, spitting out rows of coins like a slot machine. Then, he swallowed an eight ball, a lock and key ( he put the key in the lock and locked it) . He puffed a whole cigarette without emitting any smoke. Then he swallowed a lot of soap and blew bubbled, finally making a big bubble filled with cigarette smoke. We sat in amazement as the cloudy bubble floated around and then popped, allowing the smoke to disperse.
He swallowed rings and tacks, a balloon and a nail. He popped the balloon inside his stomach. He swallowed butane gas! Then he burped it up and set it on fire, in a manner that resembled a dragon’s. We watched, horrified as he asked whether we wanted several gold fish to emerge from his stomach “dead or alive?” Some people said they wanted them flayed, but fortunately he brought them all back up alive. One seemed a bit disoriented for a while though. (You would too if you were trapped in a belly of butane gas) He made someone mark a film canister and then swallowed it. When he brought back up that same canister, there was a fish and water inside.
All I could say was WTF?! Don’t ask me how he did it, I have no idea. We tried to get him down to one of our labs for X-rays but he refused, probably better for his showmanship and for me that I not know.